Saturday, January 27, 2007
24: Season 5 "Gag Reel"
A common theme of the piece is that acting on the 24 set is different than other TV shows, which is easy to believe since the show is so much different than standard boob-tube fare. My laughs started when James Morrison (Bill Buchanan) starts by describing working on the set of 24 as having to jump aboard a "100-mile an hour train". The insight seems to match other dramatic ways of stating "Hey, as an actor I finally had to do some actual work on a show!"
After a few minutes, the viewer realizes that he is being bombarded by what I have always called theater-speak; the segment is punctuated by words like "organic", "intense" and "fluid" which the audience knows by context have got to be good things, but otherwise misses the precise meaning.
Sean Astin, who appears as a guest in Season 5, continues the tradition of metaphor and hyperbole by revealing that his initial response to a 24 opportunity was "Yeah, I'd kill to be on the show!". He gets his chance via an introduction from his chiropractor rather than a murder. He also expresses the view that the work is so intense that some days on the set he was hoping his character would hurry up and get knocked off already so he could get out of some work. Half-jokingly, I'm sure.
Jude Ciccolella (Mike Novick) reveals his second life as a folk musician. As a folk fan myself, I was intrigued and tracked down and purchased a rare copy of his Haunted CD. I'm not going to provide a full review the CD here though. Or any review, really. (Believe me when I say it, Mr. Ciccolella would truly breathe a sigh of relief if he heard that announcement.) He echoes the views of both Astin, Morrison and Kim Raver (who disappointingly doesn't delve into her work on Sesame Street when she was 7 years old) that Kiefer is the hardest-working actor they've run into yet. At this point, Ciccolella utters what is arguably the best line in the piece: "Not only is he talented, but he actually shows up for work!" What a concept! Well I have to say I'm glad that most real-life first responders, anti-terrorist units and emergency room staffers have mastered that important aspect of hard work long ago.
Later we hear more from Morrison -- it turns out he is a Yoga instructor, and he explains that his "Yoga informs everything" he does.
Glenn Morshower gets on the screen next and explains how he turns on a Southern accent for the part of Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce. I remember thinking, "Sorry, Glenn, but you're talking with a Southern accent currently, I hate to say." But then the biggest no-no-say-it-ain't-so-please! moment comes when Morshower talks about his other career as a ... drum roll... Motivational Speaker! (Cue the tortured scream.) But he's still a great actor and I love to watch him play Pierce. I'll just have to block that tidbit of esoteric knowledge if he reappears in Season 6. I mean, even more so than Television Actor, isn't Motivational Speaker about the most opposite career of Secret Service Agent of which you can think?
It's fun to get a little bit of Gen X mockery in at a show I must admit that I love. All right, a lot of mockery. And I don't just love it; I'm thoroughly addicted.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Spoof of "Lazy Sunday" Makes Great B-Day Present
BTW, this is probably Rated PG-13.
Here's where I found this, at Davenetics". Really talented wife and friend you got there, Dave, thanks and Happy 40th!
Monday, January 22, 2007
"Hate to say" versus "Hope you know"
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
The Question Remains
I think that maybe we ought to watch this first, just for a little bit of context. Otherwise you might be thinking I'm being really mean.
Here are some suggestions:
1) Parmanians
2) Parmasses
3) Parma-ese
4) Miserable, Fat Parma Bastards
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Rocky Enters the Bible Study Arena
[I]t seems that Sylvester Stallone has taken a page out of Mel Gibson’s Passion playbook in marketing the latest iteration of Rocky to evangelicals. Pastors and religious leaders have been mailed "Faith-based Resource Guides," along with DVDs and glossy inspirational tickets—meant both to promote the opening of Rocky Balboa and to emphasize the extent to which the Italian Stallion’s story is Bible-based: Jesus was the master storyteller! He used short, simple, everyday stories that packed a punch. Use these powerful Rocky Balboa resources in December and January to punctuate your sermons and talks!"One small difference between this movie and the message of Jesus was that "large crowds followed Him" (Mt.4:25), i. e., he didn't have to scramble for market share. I won't go into the rather large differences which most probably exist between the Gospel of Jesus and this or any of the Rocky films .
You can't make this up, folks.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Tree, tree, tree, tree, tree.....
...right down to the fake red hair. The money quote to me has got to be when he/she yells into the attic, "Hey, if it says 'tree' on it, that means it's decorations; it needs to come down!"
I think I could pull off a drag performance if I used that accent and had the cheap shades. And if my wife let me, of course. But it's not like I'd be stupid enough to even ask her.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Duck Tape
(Yes, I know it's actually duct tape....)
But here's a last minute Christmas gift idea.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Fiscal Reporting Purposes: The New Corporate Excuse
The first email was sent after said accountant returned my call requesting payment for a short consulting job (less than $5,000.00 worth of work) which I had an associate perform in October. At the time I called, the bill was 15 days late on a purchase order with NET 45 terms. I asked the person to respond via email since I received the call in the car.
"Per our conversation, your invoice #XXXXX dated 10/XX/06 for $X,XXX.XX, would normally be paid by our terms of which would be due December XX, 2006. Due to a Corporate Directive during the month of December, XYZ Company suspends vendor payments for fiscal reporting purposes. Our payment schedule will continue the first week of January 2007. I appreciate your concern and thank you for your patience. Please contact me if you have any further questions."Gonna have to get me one of them thar' Corporate Die-rectives!! They come in handy.
I replied ever so politely and blind copied it to my contact at the client company. He was a bit embarrassed and shot me this apology and, uh, sarcastic yet accurate "translation":
"I think the translation goes something like this.I felt bad for him since it was in no way his fault; I sent this reply:
We don’t care about the cash flow of other businesses; we want to try to bogusly inflate our bottom line by a few nickels by not entering liabilities into the system and try to reach our goals by hook or by crook.
I wonder how many raw material vendors they are holding payment on? I think I am going to cut and paste her response and send it off to all of my utilities and car loan holders this month. Sorry about that, but it appears we are probably no different than any other billion dollar corporation that you deal with."
"Thanks; humans invented greed, but it seems that large corporations sure are working night and day to perfect it. Don’t worry about me – I wouldn't be in this business if I didn't have a bullet-proof sense of humor about this kind of nonsense. Honestly, the accountant sounded oh, so sensible on the phone, but I requested this email. I’m glad – though amazed – that I got it; seeing it in black & white is nothing short of High Comedy. Your remark was my immediate thought also, i.e., to put off paying my phone and rent bill as part of a new 'Fiscal Policy Initiative'. We could guess how well that sh*t would float!The only thing I'll add here is this. I've known cases where consultants have, maybe rightly, flipped out when they were not paid on time. Generally that doesn't help much. Hopefully we can find clever and creative ways to shed some light on these unfair practices and show these companies to be the schoolyard bullies that they are. I choose to do that with humor – it's legal ... right?
Rest assured that ____ was paid within a week of the excellent work she performed for XYZ Company. As for me, business is good and my kids will not be lacking any 'Figgie pudding' this Christmas, regardless of corporate Scrooges, multi-national Grinches or the morbid Mr. Potters of a shadowy Industrial Complex.
So please don’t be embarrassed on account of their treatment of 'the little guy'. The Whos down in Whoville will be sated with plenty of Roast Beast this year.
Merry Christmas!"
Friday, December 15, 2006
Merry Christmas Everybody!
Here's the source for the video if you want to email the link around.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
To whom it may concern
Interestingly enough, I was told that a lot of the behavior stopped after the posting. Maybe criticism from peers is a good deterrent? Unclear, but worth considering for management in any business.To Whom It May Concern
I know that times at XYZ Company have been difficult these last few years and a lot of things have changed. All I would like to ask of you, no expect of you is that you do not take your anger, frustration's or your lack of hygiene out on the bathrooms or its surroundings.
Obviously we have a hand full of sick fu#$'s that don't think that there is anything wrong with shi#$*g on the toilet seats, wiping boogers on any surface then can find. Also if you think that a toilet is not working don't use it, we don't care to see your business. We have a lot of garbage cans in the bathrooms so put your garbage in them and not on the floor.
If you find yourself in the lunchroom treat it as one not a place to leave or throw your unwanted food or wrappers.
If you have any questions on what you just read, please quit your job and don't socialize with other people. Thank you from all of us.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Snogging Subcommittee, more like!
Transcript.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
"Emotard"
"Honey, as a male I know I can be a real emotard," I delivered with a straight face to Lissa which almost caused her to go into a laugh spasm.
"Don't ever say the word emotard ever again," she warned wiping tears from her eyes.
I did look it up, well, Googled it; generally "emotard" is a derogatory term which is already in use. It refers negatively to practitioners of the music style "Emo" which, as far as I can tell from my brief research, seems to be short for "emotional" embrace many styles of alternative, punk and hardcore punk, but rebranded sometime in the early 90's since a lot of people thought punk music was dead.
But for older fogeys who don't run in the cool circles nor follow the hip kiddie trends and jargon, emotard seems like a great slang word for "emotional retard." But I can't use it at home -- that's probably a good thing.